You’re all on your own. And you know what you know.
And you are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
Teachers provide education and inspiration,
But according to the state’s calculation,
We’ve done nothing to teach the standards
And with that news, I’m forced to hang myself by my school lanyard.
You’ll look up student rows. Look ‘em over with care.
Some you will say, “I’ve always been so fair.”
With your head full of worries and your heart full of woes,
This moment fills your career with its lows.
And you may not find any student
Who has any moment of prudence.
Oh, the places we’ll go.
When you see the PSSA,
You’ll know it's almost May,
The end of school year is near
And we can celebrate with beer.
But first the dreaded test,
Which fills our students with stress.
Teachers know this isn’t pleasant
We too must be present.
It’s something we have to do,
Despite we always ask, “Says who?”
Today is not your day.
You’re off to no good places!
You’re off and away.
Dear teachers, take my warning,
Please hear this is in my mourning.
Don’t you dare look at the exam,
Which want our students to be programmed.
If you should peek inside the test book,
You’ll be sent off to jail,
And seen as the ultimate crook.
Don’t fret; the teachers’ union will set your bail.
We all know this test doesn’t define you or me.
Yet officials believe this the ultimate key
To measure student success,
Though teachers know that education is process.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
Though the test might disagree.
Teacher: You’ll move mountains!
As educators always do,
Yet many haven’t a clue.
Day in and day out,
We’re dedicated and hard-working
Despite our fears and doubt,
of what beyond our classrooms might lurk.
Our level of care
Shouldn’t be questioned; don’t you dare.
We believe in your kids, just as you at home do
And when little Johnny has a major break-through
We’ll talk about him with great joy,
Because, even though he was a pain-in-the-ass boy,
We want him to succeed just as much as mom and dad.
I promise we’re not all as bad
As the State Test makes us out to be
Please, won’t you see?
We’ll move mountains
To see our student’s success.
And little Johnny and sweet Leigh
Just you watch and see.
PS: For legality purposes, I do not own any rights to Dr. Seuss's original work and really I just made a mediocre version of this for sole intent of getting some laughs.
"I have no special talent.